12/30/2010

2010.

Less than 30 hours in this year, in this decade.
2010 has been very interesting year, I have met so many people. Some of them will stay in my life for a very long time, some of them not. Some of them has changes my point of view about things around me, some of them has opened my eyes about simple things in life, some of them has showed value of true friendship.
I am very thankful to all of those people who has helped me through tough times and has laughed with me when I had good times. I am thankful to all of my friends I have met, throughout this decade, who are making my life such a wonderful place!
I am thankful for my health, for my family and all obvious things we have in our lives!

All in all, 2010 and this decade has been very good time! Ready for 2011 and next decade who seems to bring a lot of new trends!

12/23/2010

Free time obsession?!

Yes, people love free time. Off work, off school, off troubles and problems. It's all good, of course. But problems start when our minds start to manipulate with us. How? Let me explain this! So, when we have free time but we have no clue what to do with it, we start to think. Think about things, future, people etc. Normal, right? But then, at some point, if there is at least one reason we aren't happy, that's where our minds start their obsessed journey. We start to pity our selves and feel sorry for something we have or we have not.
So, honestly, I would rather be extra busy all the time and maybe tired of all the action in my life than allow my mind to go crazy and make up things that doesn't exist. Well, they do but ONLY in my head!!!

12/21/2010

Don't know.

Pēc ilgiem laikiem manī ir iemitinājies apmulsums un neziņa ko darīt!
Ceru pavisam drīz atbildes uz pāris jautājumiem pašas atradīs ceļu un es varēšu beigt uztaukties un domāt "kā būtu, ja būtu tā"..

12/20/2010

Weekend!

This has been the best weekend this year since I moved to New York! Truly amazing time! Thanks to those two special people in my life :)
And that vegan restaurant! Mmmm... DELICIOUS!!! :)

Greetings,
Heidi

12/17/2010

Christmas in 9 days.


Uh! Crazy, crazy, crazy!
Christmas is coming! Time is flying so so fast. Just unbelievable.
Decorating Christmas tree - Check,
Cooking gingerbread cookies - Check,
Peppermint tea - Check,
Clementines - Check,
Christmas songs - Check,
Christmas mood - Check,
First snow (on December 14th) - Check!



Yeah, presents too - Check!
For this Christmas - All I want for Christmas is YOU, baby!

12/15/2010

School.


SO, I have officially enrolled in my school. It starts in little over a month. Can't wait!! I have never been so excited about anything eduction-wise. Which means that this is IT! This is the thing what I want to do for the rest my life :) I know, it will be hard to combine school with job and social life (I guess, no social life for me, lol) but I know it is so worth it!!! :)
Yupi!

Bring it!

Today, in a long time, I had 2 hour workout. I'm exhausted but it feels so amazing when you know how useful you have spent last 2 hours. Instead of doing something totally useless, I did something great that make me feel great about myself! Better health and better looks, here I come :)

12/13/2010

Yesterday.

It was such an amazing day. I haven't felt so great and as myself for such a long time. Looking forward to next weekend!

12/09/2010

E-mail time.

Wow, school has taken so much time that I have to reply to so many e-mails. So, my mission today and tomorrow is to write e-mails to all those people who are still waiting answers. Even from my birthday - month ago. I know, I have been very bad with that... but... better later than never.. :)

Go figure!

How to say NO to a person without hurting his/her feelings??

12/04/2010

Weird behavior.

Wait, so, if everyone is planning on jumping off the window just because it's cool or some other reason why, you're going to jump too? Just because to fit it? Wow! Amazing how weak people actully are... So sad..

12/02/2010

Texas.

My dream about going to Texas one day is still going strong!
I know, one day I'll get there!
Santa, could I get flight ticket and accommodations in Texas for Christmas?! :)



P L E A S E !

11/30/2010

Christmas time is coming! Indeed!

Christmas songs are everywhere!
Ho-Ho-Ho!

Being vegan.

So, day 4 as a vegan has come to an end and I feel truly amazing!
Today I went vegan-grocery shopping. Wow, it is really hard to find real vegan foods. But, I bought everything I needed. Also, since I'm vegan now, I have to pay more attention not only to nutrition facts but also ingredients. I downloaded this app for my phone where I can check if any ingredients, I don't know, is or it's not vegan. Amazing! I'm very excited to make tons of vegan foods tomorrow, some desserts included.
So far I feel very good, even my energy level is high and I had no problems working out, what I was little bit concerned about!

Greeting,
Heidi

P.S. Yesterday I went to this fair at Union square in Manhattan and there I bought my first vegan chocolate! Soooooo delicious :)
Love being vegan!

11/28/2010

REALLY, your thoughts are more powerful than you thought!

No wonder there are such saying like: "be careful what you wish for because you might get it" or "when you wish something, everyone in the world gathers together to make your wish come true". It is so true. We can actually make changes in our lives.
If we'll think that we're ugly/fat/unsuccessful and nothing/no one can help then yes, we'll always stay ugly/fat/unsuccessful and nothing/no one will ever be able to help us. Everything STARTS in your head!

So, better start thinking positive thoughts, smile more, compliment people and trust me, you'll be much happier person! Because all changes always starts within you!

Remember, take step by step!
Good luck world,
Heidi

Weekend.

I have had a great weekend so far.






Yes, New York City is taking good care of me.

Lifestyle.

So, on Friday, November 26th, I decided to become a vegan. Some of you might already know that I am a vegetarian for about 3.5 years, so, I think it won't be that hard. It's been two days, being vegan (which, for you who might don't know, means that I'm not eating any animal products, like, meat, fish and dairy) and honestly, I feel truly amazing. I read this one book, I can't remember name of it right now, and it really convinced me to become vegan. Seriously! This cruelty against animals has to stop!

I must say that, the same as it was with me, being vegetarian, I'm not going to push my opinion towards anyone. So, don't worry, you're not going to hear any lectures from me every time when you'll reach for steak or glass of milk!

Have a wonderful night, America!
Good morning, Europe!

Hugs,
Heidi

11/26/2010

As simple as that!

If you can't communicate with people without hurting, offending them or without sense of respect then just DON'T talk and simply shut up!

Black Friday

It's BLACK FRIDAY today. Which basically means - stay away of stores or you'll get killed! People actually wake up at 3 am just to go shopping. It's crazy what people are capable of in the name of good deal (or not so good but who cares, right?!).
Anyways, this Thanksgiving was very nice, much more different than last year's but a good one. Some things came up on my mind to think about, which is good, of course. My pumpkin pie came out great, even better than last year!

Greetings,
Heidi
P.S. Now it's going to be all about Christmas...!

Influence on ...

Sometimes we just can't affect everything. The hardest part is to learn how to live with that and just move on.

11/24/2010

New York, New York.


So weird that now, when I remember, few years ago, every time I heard Frank Sinatra's song "New York, New York", my deepest desire was one day to go there. And now, I can spend every single weekend there, if I want to. As they say, be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it :)


Greetings from New York, everyone!

Pumpkin pie.

So excited!
Tomorrow I'll make my second pumpkin pie ever! I hope this one will be even better than last year, even though I doubt it :)
When it will be ready, I'll put on pictures and reviews on how AMAZING it was!

Coloring book.

Who said that coloring books are only for children??
I went to the store and bought one and crayons.
It is such a relaxing thing to do!

11/19/2010

No way!


Hello, people!
It's only November 19th and everyone starts to buy Christmas trees??? Are you kidding me??? It's over a month left till Christmas! Can't you, guys, wait till, at least, after Thanksgiving??

11/16/2010

Communication.

Communication between people actually is very interesting thing. At the beginning of relationship it is crucial, you just have to communicate all the time in order to get to know that other person. But when we have very close relationship with someone, I like that we can just be silent. There are just few people in my life with whom I am very good friends with and we can just sit next to each other and be silent. And feel good about it. Not intimidated. That's when you know, relationships (true and long-lasting)have been established.
Thank you, friends, for allowing me to enjoy silence with you!

Brighter future!

Negative thoughts and self-programming is amazing thing! We, not only, see negative things is ourselves and others but we don't even see positive things anymore. We always start with what is bad, not good.
When we say to ourselves every single day that we can't, that everyone else is better, prettier, skinnier, smarter etc than us, guess what, we start to believe in that! And when others try to compliment us, we think they're lying. We should start to smile and be more positive about things and people around us. Let's start to take baby-steps. Let's smile to a stranger, give a compliment to person we don't know. Trust me, it will pay off with your happiness every single day without any particular reason!
Let's break this negative/self-programming circle once and for all!

What if!?!?

I need that miracle! Right now I truly need it!
Well... what can I say? If it will happen then maybe after all, it is meant to be...!
Hopefully!

11/15/2010

Pestilence.

Some new facts about obesity in US.
I recommend you to watch a movie "Killer at Large". It made me think about health issues that this country has. And it is not only problem in US, it becomes a problem in the world too.


Remember - EAT LESS, EXERCISE MORE!

"You must do what you feel is right."

Ok, here it is.
I have been thinking about some things lately, especially today, since I was wandering around Manhattan all alone (what I truly enjoyed because it allowed me to be with myself in this huge city).
How important it is to be alone. Few people has mentioned here and there that I have to learn how to be lonely, how to be comfortable being just with myself. And, actually, I think that this time of my life is perfect for learning that. And honestly, I start to enjoy it. So, now I'm on that self-centered track, where I'll learn new things about myself, I'll listen to myself more than I have ever done it and I'll accept myself. More then ever!

11/14/2010

This feeling...

Just can't help it.
Again, I have this feeling that I want to took off with the plane and just disappear. It is very interesting, actually, because I have this feeling about once a year. And now, again. Should I ignore it?!

11/11/2010

Book vs. TV/PC

The moment when you know that book, you're currently reading, is great, is when you chose book over TV/computer in your spare time.

"You are, after all, what you think. Your emotions are the slaves to your thoughts, and you are the slave to your emotions." Elizabeth Gilbert "Eat. Pray. Love"

5 am.


Over the time, it has been proven that there is nothing better than workout at 5 am. While you're working out, you can see sunset in your window - wonderful feeling for sure!
Good morning America!

P.S. Happy Veterans day, America! Happy Lāčplēša diena, Latvia!

11/08/2010

Step by step.

"I guess I'm learning, little by little, that we decide what our lives are going to be. Things happen to us, but it is our reactions that matter." TV show "Felicity"

Monta.


This entry is dedicated to my best friend Monta.
She's the best friend ever! Everything you could wish from a real friend. Even though we are so far away and we haven't seen each other for about 15.5 months, she has always been there for me. I just wish that I have been there for her too. If I have ever needed, she can kick my butt in order for me to wake up, what I needed today, especially! And the best part is that, she never gives advices, she just tells her point of view in order to open my eyes and start to think about things on my own.
Dear friend, you're more than a friend to me. You're my family!

Love you,
Heidi

P.S. Miss you every single day!

11/07/2010

Conviction.

Amazing movie! I must admit that obviously I'm getting old because I was crying throughout the whole movie... I mean, I know why I was crying. Because I don't have any siblings and I know that noone would do this for me. Because as I have always stated, friends and people in our lives come and go but family stays. Always!
I suggest this movie because this movie is based on a true story, on a true love between brother and sister. About true feelings without wanting to get benefits out of action. Very good movie! I give this movie ***** stars!

Different Sunday.

My morning started with breakfast in bed. So awesome! :) I truly felt like a princess!
Thanks to my family (:

11/06/2010

Different Saturday.

Today I'm spending all day in the kitchen in order to make foods for whole week. So far I have made zucchini-yogurt whole grain muffins and vegetable casserole. Next on my mind is shrimp-pasta salad and maybe tuna salad too.
Anyways, I'm in a great mood today!
This evening I'm planning on going to club/bar to celebrate my birthday with Amanda and Felicia. It should be so much fun :)

11/02/2010

Addiction.

That's what I call an addiction - me, who's not a morning person, waking up at 5 am just to workout... It feels as such a great way to start my day! Hope it will go well!

Good morning America,
Heidi

Changes.


Not sure why but I'm in emotionally very strange place right now.
It feels that something is changing, maybe it's because my birthday is coming, maybe because it's been such a long time since I'm here, maybe because... I don't know yet. But, as I remember, my best friend always used to say, that when I start to look into the past, start to watch old movies/tv shows that has been very important for me, it is time for change. And I think she's right. No wonder, she's my best friend. She knows me better than I know myself.

Also, good changes has been happening with my blog. I was going through last year entries and I realized that at some point I wasn't writing so much as I used to.. why? not sure, really. But now I'm back on track and I write about my feelings, my thoughts and life around me.

I'm looking forward to these changes that are happening with me, even I don't know what is it yet...

Good night America, good morning Latvia!
Heidi

If it happens, it happens.

Yes, things happen to us but only our reaction to these things really matter.

10/29/2010

Reality check!

Growing apart with someone you care about is very sad and strange. Especially when you realize that it has been going on for a while now..

10/27/2010

Student again.

So excited! Today was my first official day of school. It was really good. I love my professor, she is very nice and it seems that I'll learn a lot from her.
Test is in 6 weeks, so... I commit to study a little bit every single day and hopefully I'll get the best result out of all people in my class (ha ha, I know it's not a competition, but still, you know?!). And then, the next test and then will see how everything will go :)

why?

On the way to my journey, something went wrong today.
Tomorrow is a new day... let's hope for the best....

15 months.

Today. Since I'm in USA.

Selfishness.

I know, it's selfish but... sometimes it is just so good to know that people miss you!

Haunted house.


So... last year was my first haunted house. And I went with few friends who knew what to expect from that thing, I had no clue. I was so scared and almost (yes, almost) cried. anyways, this year, my first haunted house was 2 weeks ago when I went with my family. It was so funny. I was laughing all the time and wasn't scared at all. Not sure whether it was because what to expect or because kids were so scared and it was so funny to watch them?! Anyways, tonight I went to my third haunted house so far and it was at my college. It was really good. I mean, me and Felicia, were screaming but it was really creepy because our group's tour guides were telling old stories about this old castle/college building... but it was really good!
So, this Friday we're going to Playland, which is one of best haunted houses in Eastern New York, so it should be totally awesome :) can't wait!!!

10/26/2010

so true



"The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything."
— Unknown Author

Phone-call.

Sometimes just short phone call with a friend can make your whole day!

Sharing happiness!

It is so true about saying that it make us feel better about ourselves when we make someones day brighter! I'm really glad that people really start to appreciate me :) it is definitely a great feeling!

John Tesh

When I lived in Cleveland, OH, I used to listen 94.1 with John Tesh, who is amazing radio enterpreuner. He's giving advices and telling interesting facts about simple things in life. And couple weeks ago, I found his radio show on local radio, here in New York :) so glad... it makes me feel like I'm back at home (Cleveland)..
And yes, my heart will always stay in Ohio!

Interesting...

If it's not a deal breaker, don't make it as one!

10/25/2010

Today



Not sure why but today feels different. Today feels like it's very special day. In general, nothing is different, just the feeling... well... day is not over yet, maybe something will happen?!

Blond?



Here you can actually see me with blond and brown hair. I had blond hair in 2005 and brown hair in 2007 and I have had black hair since 2008, I guess.

Really? Maybe it's because my birthday is coming up and I feel like changing something but... I really started to think, maybe I should color my hair blond again... I don't know... I assume and hope that after my birthday I will change my mind because I really love having black hair... but... will see ;)

It's party time, right?

Oh, this weekend was so much fun. Parties on both, Friday and Saturday nights. Most likely, there will be party tomorrow night too because it's Felicia's birthday and she's turning 21 :)
Next weekend seems to be wild too - it's Halloween time! Haunted house on Friday, Halloween party in Manhattan on Saturday and Halloween parade on Sunday! Sounds as a great way to spend weekend to me :):):)
And then... it's my birthday week... I can't believe that my birthday is actually coming up. Wow! I'm getting old, right?! LOL

10/21/2010

Changes

I'm little bit disappointed with myself because I haven't been taking pictures of people/places/events around me for past 2 or 3 months. Where is my photograph inspiration??? And every week I think to myself that this weekend I'll take my camera and take pictures but nothing changes... What has changed?

Today's quote.



"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken."
— Oscar Wilde

Pārdomas.

Šodien uznāca kaut kāda aplama melanholija pēc vecajiem laikiem. Pēc cilvēkiem, kuriem manā dzīvē reiz bija nopietnas lomas. Pēc kopā pavadītiem laikiem. Un nē, tas nav tāpēc, ka kaut kas būtu noticis vai tāpēc, ka šeit būtu slikti. Nebūt nē! Te ir labi, gribētos teikt, ka labāk. Vienkārši uznāca tāds kā vājuma brīdis. Un visiem tiem, kuri manā dzīvē reiz bija svarīgi, piedodiet par tām reizēm, kad esmu jūs sāpinājusi vai vienkārši neesmu izrādījusi pietiekami daudz mīlestības. Zinu, ka tagad tam vairs nav nozīme... pa lielam. Tas man bija svarīgi, to atzīt.
Lai vai kā, viss kas notiek, notiek uz labu un pagātne ir tā, kas mums palīdz pilnveidoties, ka būtu vieglāk dzīvot tagadnē un mēs redzētu daudz gaišāku nākotni!

Un te nu man gribas teikt, pacelsim glāzes un iedzersim par skaistu tagadni un daudzsološu nākotni!
Cheers!!

10/18/2010

Unexpected news.

WOW!!! I just found out that my friend from Ohio is moving to Japan for next 3 years... I feel so bad that I won't be able to see him before he leaves..
I hope that everything will go well with him and that sooner or later I'll see him again :)

10/17/2010

Oh well...

Who would have thought that???
SHOCK!! I just found out that my ex-boyfriend got married this summer. OMG!!! And I didn't even knew about it! Wow!!

10/16/2010

Weather...

It's official - it's snowing in Latvia! Wow! And I was complaining that is only 66F/19C degrees outside in here. Obviously, this will be my second birthday in a row without a snow, what sounds great to me :)

10/12/2010

Pleasant surprise.

I was pleasantly surprised that there are still nice people out there! Thank Godness!

Music??!!

Weird....! None of the songs on my phone or computer or on radio can give me satisfaction for music. What that supposed to mean?

Friendly advice.

If you don't know what you're talking about then shut up!

Mind.

When your mind doesn't sleep, it tends to make up things that doesn't even exist.
That's why, the best idea is to allow yourself useful rest and sleep. Your mind, the same as your body, needs some rest from time to time. And the more rest, the better it works.

Believe.

All you need is feeling that someone is believing in you. Even when you don't.

10/11/2010

Future and so on.

I wish I could change so many things in my life right now. Whether I don't have enough willpower or I can't make those decisions myself. Regarding lack of my willpower, I have to find a right way how to peal lack of it off to get to it. Regarding stuff that I can't effect, I just have to live with them and hope. Sometimes hope is all we have... And sometimes it's enough... Let's see how it goes this time!?!

oh...

not good.
not good at all.

10/07/2010

Thursday.

Oh, very productive day today. I started to take 2 new supplements to improve my workouts and they really work. I felt that my energy level was (and still is even after 6 hours) very high. And feeling really good. No bad feeling in my stomach what I had when I used to drink energy drinks before workout (even though it was beginning of this summer).
Also, I haven't decided for sure yet, but maybe I'll do my first 5K in 3 weeks. I really need some race to participate. I just feel it! I remember how amazing I felt after my cycling race of 26 miles/44 km. It was such an amazing and wonderful feeling!! I just need to feel that way again...
One more working day (hopefully no working this weekend) and then, off to Manhattan for weekend! :) Let's hit Manhattan floor ;)

Have a wonderful day people,
Heidi

10/06/2010

"Town".

On Sunday I went to see movie "Town" and I must admit that Ben Afleck really surprised me. He is good actor after all. Anyways, story line is one of those well-known bank robbery movies but after half a movie you realize that this is not even close being to one of those I-know-what-will-happen movies! Very good movie after all! 4 stars out of 5! Suggest to everyone over 18, since it's rated R.

Tuesday/Wednesday

I know it's only Tuesday, almost Wednesday, but so far, this week has been very good! Some unexpected and good news. Only thing I'm concerned about is that this Friday, my sweetest cousin will have a surgery in Russia. I'm crossing my fingers and praying that he'll need only one surgery and that Russian doctors will be able to help him! Even though when I left Romans was 3 years old and now he's a big boy, he's 5, I still think that he's the sweetest boy in the world!! So, I'll keep him in my prayers!!
Other than that, can't wait till this weekend when me and Amanda will go to party in manhattan, real NYC style! Ha! Party, party, party! :)

10/02/2010

Vote! Vote! Vote!

Today is election day of Saeima - Parliament of Latvia. I'm on my way to NYC to do my citizen duty... I'm just wondering, will my vote will change anything? I wish it will because I want my grandmother good pension. And jobs for my friends and family.
Hopefully, things will change for good! We always have hope!

You do what you gotta do

I hate lying to people, especially my closest ones but sometimes you just have to...

9/30/2010

Lost in ....

Feeling somewhat lost today... maybe I should go back to sleep and stop thinking too much?! Ha!

Friendship?

Is it possible to build long-lasting friendship if you have spent only one day together and now you both live thousands of miles from each other?! I guess so. And it might happen with few people during our lifetime. Either way, it is very interesting thing to think about, isn't it?

9/27/2010

Yankees game.

Last week I went to Yankees game!
Yes, the most famous baseball team in the world! And I saw it!
It was amazing. Here you have small sneak-peak from the game.

video

this weekend.

It was such a great weekend! Yesterday me and Amanda went to Queens, NY to see that huge globe what you can see at opening credits for TV show "King of Queens". Wow, that globe was huge!!



And then we headed back to Manhattan and walked around! I had really good time with her, as always :) and this morning... grr... I had to wake up at 5:30 am. Sunday and 5:30 am?? wow, it was a tough one! But seeing Time Square at 7:30 am without any tourists was such a blast! Really! It was so empty, there were only people who went to work or were just passing by, really amazing!



And today I had THE BEST and THE CHEAPEST sushi I have ever had!!! Felicia (from Sweden) took me to this sushi place in White Plains, NY and OMG!!! It was only $4 for 12 huge pieces! I know where I'll satisfy my cravings for sushi from now on... Yumi!

All in all this weekend was truly amazing!
I'm really looking forward to next weekend when Amanda is finally moving in her new place and I'll stay with her whole weekend and we'll go dancing in Manhattan on Saturday night! Sounds great ;)

Have a great week,
Heidi

9/24/2010

In the name of happiness...

Just wondering, how long we can pretend to be someone we aren't? How long we can wear those fake masks? How long we can allow our selves to be fake and how long can we lie to our selves? What should we take as turning point? When you get so sick of yourself and your actions that you're crashed and crying like a newborn?
Some answers has come along the way I'm walking right now but questions are still out there. If you're happy can you allow yourself to be fake? And what really means being fake? There are so many things I still don't understand and yes, I'm not ready yet for anything what is in my future. I'm not. But in the name if better future I have to walk over my fears, face them and win in this fight! Well... as long as prize at the end is my happiness, I really don't care. It's not like I have never had these kind of fights before. As they say, what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger... Right?

Changes

Today something changed. Within me..
Let's see where these changes will take me..

9/13/2010

Sunday night.

It has been a good weekend.
My good friend Amanda came to visit me and it was truly amazing. We had so much fun together, as always, of course.
And now I have perfect closure for this week - popcorn and Forrest Gump. Mmmm... great!

Getting ready for exciting week!
Good night,
Heidi

9/09/2010

In between.

I'm stuck in Philadelphia. Not a bad thing, of course. I'm waiting for my connecting flight to New York. So, all in all, I finally have a job again. After 2 weeks being jobless it feels as such a blast. Can't wait to finally start working. I think that these 2 weeks as unpaid vacation has thought me such a good lesson about people and things around me. But, you know, you do what you have to do, right?
I'm really excited to go to New York and give this state another chance. This time everything will be different. I can just feel it. I can even smell it. I think, it was a good thing that everything fall apart in New Jersey and I had a chance to go back to Ohio to see all my friends and family. As they say, everything happens for a reason, right?
Flying over Philly, it seemed as very beautiful city and I have heard a lot of good things about this place. Maybe I will come and visit. It's not that far away, anyways, so, why wouldn't I, right?
Oh well... maybe now I will start to write more comments about what is going on in my life... as it was when I first arrived in States. I can't believe, it has been almost 14 months since I have been here. Time definitely flies too fast...

Greetings from Philadelphia, PA.
Heidi

Baggage

I should learn how tl leave past behind and get it over with in my heart....
Or else I'll get hurt over and over again and nothing is ever gonna change!
Maybe I should start this new life today? Yes, I think today is a good day for starting something new! No need to wait for Monday or beginning of the month. Yes, starting today, I'm having new life, new priorities in life. Well... no one said that changes are easy, right? But, well, you have to start at some point for better future, right?

Really ....

Sometimes it's easier to live in denial...

8/16/2010

ehh...

I miss Ohio. That's all I can think about. Days in here go by so slow only because my heart is still in Ohio with my friends, family. Just 18 days left and I'll be in Ohio for long weekend.. Can't wait. Really. Even though I live 15 min train ride from Manhattan, I don't care because I just don't like big cities. Apparently! When I lived in Riga, I thought that New York would be my dream city. Guess what?! Be careful what you wish for because you might get it! And now I live in this big city and I'm longing for this small town with all places I knew, my friends and feeling that I can go somewhere and hide from someone. In here, it's too many people...
All in all, life in here is good too. Too noisy though but it's fine. As pastor said, right before I left, people in big cities aren't that sincere as it was in Ohio. and guess what?!

He was right!...

8/01/2010

New Jersey.

I haven't wrote anything in past month because there has been too many stuff going on in my life.
Now I have finally moved to my new home for next, at least, 1 year.
This is the view from my window:


Perfect view to Manhattan, New York. Either way, I miss Cleveland so much.. but I know that I haven't left for good, I will go back and visit people that has made my first year in States memorable.

Good night!

7/12/2010

7/09/2010

yes, very interesting

I guess, this is the time where I confess that I'm getting old. I can't remember where I put my stuff anymore. ha!

anyways, other thing that has been on my mind lately, especially past few days, is that people consider me as good adviser regarding relationships. and I have no clue why do they think like that. funny, maybe I should consider my carrier as relationship counselor?!

one year anniversary in 18 days, since I'm in USA or since I left Latvia. not really sure which one I would place as first one. it means that I have 18 days + 4 extra days (without work) to enjoy being with my Ohio friends.. it sounds so sad. what is 22 days? exactly - nothing! at least, not enough for me! but at least I'm not leaving the country. I'm kinda getting excited about moving to New Jersey. I know, I know, I have always wanted to live in a big city, but now I'm not sure that deep inside of me, I'm really that "city girl" that I always thought I am. will see!

6/27/2010

Fun!

Haven't had so much fun with total strangers in such a long time!
I guess it is right, that if you want to have fun, you have to do it yourself! No one else is going to make fun time for you! Cheers for meeting new people, having fun and being spontaneous! :)

6/21/2010

My first.

Finally, I DID IT!
On June 19th I participated in cycling race "Tour de Solon" and I did 26 miles (44 km). I really did it!! I still can't believe! And it feels so so so amazing! :)

5/16/2010

Feelings.

Sometimes you have to be speechless for a while to say something meaningful. There is no reason for talking just because you have to say something.
Quality stands above quantity.
Yes!

5/12/2010

Family.

"In truth a family is what you make it. It is made strong, not by number of heads counted at the dinner table, but by the rituals you help family members create, by the memories you share, by the commitment of time, caring, and love you show to one another, and by the hopes for the future you have as individuals and as a unit."

Time period.

It is funny how people laugh about time periods in our lives. For example, how long you haven't smoke/drink/use drugs, how long you're in a relationship, how long have you been away from home etc.
Hello, you have to start somewhere, right???

5/11/2010

Chicago.

Oh, Chicago is such a beautiful city. I had so much fun there, I wish weather would have been much better but I had so much fun with Irina and her friends. Very soon I'll go there again :)

5/03/2010

Today.

Had wonderful time today. I couldn't even imagine that I will ever again feel this way.
Tomorrow I'm going to NBA playoff game Cavaliers vs. Celtics. Hopefully we will win. Why wouldn't we? I bet we will win playoffs after all.
And this weekend I'm going to Chicago. Oh, amazing!

Relevance.

"Everyone is always going through tough things, the irony in it is that everyone thinks what they're going through is just as hard as what you are. Life isn't about surviving this, it's about understanding this." Nicholas Sparks

"People want pretty much the same things: They wanted to be happy. Most young people seemed to think that those things lay somewhere in the future, while most older people believed they lay in the past." Nicholas Sparks

4/29/2010

Friendship.

"The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares." Henri Nouwen

"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, "What! You too? I thought I was the only one!"" C.S. Lewis

Sharing with...

Just wanted to share with THIS homepage. There are a lot of good quotes that sometimes opens my eyes for seeing life differently.

4/27/2010

"The Greatest"

Very interesting movie, where family has to deal with the fact that their oldest son has been killed by a car and his girlfriend is pregnant. How everyone in this family deals with loss of a brother, son or boyfriend. Good but heartbreaking movie.

4/26/2010

Finally.

Wow! It finally hit me!
I was the one who didn't wanted to let him go. not other way around..
and it kind a hurts..
even though letting someone go is the right thing to do, it is so hard.
I guess I have always known that.. just never felt it. for real...

4/25/2010

Music.

Whom you will trust most? Music of movie or movie trailer?
I found out that listening to the soundtracks, you can fall in love with movie already, even not knowing the storyline.
And checking out Mychael Danna music for movies, I found it irresistible.. I have seen most of movies he has been writing music for and yes, I love his music.. I guess it is just very simple and full of emotions, with honesty..

4/24/2010

Movie "Chloe"

I must admit that this movie had very unexpected moments. When you think you know what will happen, trust me, everything will go different direction. It was really good and actors were really good in their roles.
I absolutely suggest you to see this movie, if you're above 18.
Happy watching!

4/23/2010

Shhh.....


If you don't have anything to say, be silent!
People should learn enjoy the silence more...
Silence is beautiful!

Earth Day.

Today was a good day. Some changes, good ones.
Hope you did something good for earth today. I did.
I planted 2 trees and decided to turn of TV every time when I don't really watch it.

Happy Earth day, everyone!

4/15/2010

Sickness.

wow, getting sick in this country really sucks. in normal clinic first appointment is about $ 327 without insurance. who the hell can afford to pay for this?? and what if you need more than just an appointment?

4/13/2010

...

"Cilvēkam ir jāceļo. Tas nav ne greznums, ne vaļasprieks - tā ir dzīves diktēta nepieciešamība: uz laiku atstāt savu dzīves un darba vietu. Pēc tam viņš atgriežas, ar citādām acīm raugoties uz apkārtni un sevi pašu. Viņš var salīdzināt, viņš atrod dziļāku jēgu savām ikdienišķajām pūlēm." /Knuts Skujenieks/

4/12/2010

Affinity.


I'm watching this totally stupid TV reality show and mother is confessing to her daughter that she has set bad example for her children. and then I started to wonder.. how much do we have inside of us from our parents? do we tend to make the same mistakes as our parents did? or maybe if it was mistake for them, maybe it will be success for us?
how can we know how similar we are with our parents and other close relatives?

3/25/2010

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow is my big day. my first big performance.
Today's rehearsal went well and I feel confident.
I guess this is it, "break the leg" and good luck moment :)

Happy, happy, happy :)

3/24/2010

oh my!

If you don't think every day is a good day, just try missing one.
/Cavett Robert/

Have a great day!

Should I stay silent?

Longer I live in here, more I think about people I left behind me.
Especially two people who, for different reasons, aren't in my life anymore.
I really miss them, I do, even if I'm too embarrassed to say it out loud, because of consequences.
But, yes, I do miss them and I will never say that to them because I'm arrogant for this whole drama what would start all over again.
But anyways, I do wish both of them all the best because they deserve to be happy, as all of us.
I just wish, at some point, that everything would have end differently...

3/08/2010

3/06/2010

I was just wondering...

how can people live with them selves like that?
even I get sick just looking at all that mess but living in it?!
Poor people... I'm feeling so sad about them..

2/16/2010

Very interesting.

As of now, it seems that I won't be able to watch our (Latvia) ice-hockey games. Just because NBC show mostly American athletes and Eurosport can be watched online only in Europe. So maybe for the first season i won't be able to see our team performance.
Oh well... at least I can watch videos after game...
Anyways, good luck my team. because we're playing with Russia today and we HAVE to win!!! I don't care about the score but we have to kick some Russians butts :D

2/13/2010

Total dissapointment!!!

Officially, I hate NBC channel because when "Latvia" team was coming out, they were presenting car commercials!!! Seriously?!?!?! I'm just so very upset!!
Of course, they showed our team but for 2 seconds. That's so not fair!! :(
But anyways, we will win our first ice-hockey game with Russia and then world will remember us!! :)
BY the way, I really didn't know that Estonia population is only 1.3 million. I thought we're almost like the smallest one. We're not, that's good :)

Reality.

I know, when it hits you, it's painful.
But the truth is, some people should understand that their age limit is soo exceeded. Time goes and people should change with it.
Good luck! And I'm feeling very sorry for those "stuck in the moment/time" people!!

2/11/2010

Be the best version of you!

Oh YES, I'm totally crazy but.. you know, this year in my life should be for exploring new things, new places, meeting new people. and well... that's exactly what I'm doing. Year ago I wouldn't even think about that but here I am and yes, I'm enjoying everything!!! :)

2/07/2010

Crazy weekend.

Everything started on Friday evening with our extreme drive to Pittsburgh because for 2 days snow storm was following us (thanks a lot! :D). So, instead of 2 hour drive, it took us 3.5 hours only to get there. But it was fun tho, watching to all landscape, we were passing by. Very beautiful. Right before we had to leave our home city in a gas station, I slipped and, as I thought, broke my elbow. But pain killers and good sleep made my pain much easier to stand.
On Saturday morning I was totally sure that something IS wrong with my elbow (and I should go to hospital or clinic, at least) because it was blue-red, I could barely move my arm and I couldn't remember that kind of paid ever in my life. But, thanks to weather conditions, almost whole city was closed and places that my insurance covers were one of those "closed" ones. Yeah! But since I didn't wanted to stay at the hotel alone, I drank more pain killers and went snowboarding. Uff, it was the best 7 hours snowboarding ever!!! :) I didn't felt anything because adrenaline in my veins was high enough :) those were highest hills I have ever seen and have ever snowboarded on. just wonderful!!! :)
after all this, I'm alive, with blue-red elbow, I can barely feel it, but I don't care. Pain killers now are my best friends :)
Anyways, this weekend was so much fun and Tom made my day yesterday :) thanks to him I felt much, much better after all that happened with me :)

All in all, very good, actually great weekend!
xoxo,
Heidi

2/05/2010

Fact!

If I don't talk to you, it doesn't mean that you're no longer in my heart.
Maybe you're in my heart too deep.

P.S. I really miss my friends. I do. I'm just trying to pretend that I'm busy. Just because. Just because it's easier.

Sports.

Actually very interesting thing. I have never been very into some sports but since I'm in USA, I love watching basketball, ice-hockey (I guess, ice-hockey has been the only one, because Latvian team is still really good), baseball (although I think that that's the most boring sports ever) and American football. Yes, I must say that people in USA are like crazy with sports. Even tho if their team is the worst one in whole country, they will love it and hate, I really mean HATE, enemies. Their love towards sports (mostly watching them) is just captivate. And more or less, I'm sick too with the same sickness.
In just one week Olympics will start and on 17th February Latvia-Russia ice-hockey game. uh! even tho, I'm so far away from my country, I will totally support them.
Sarauj!

2/02/2010

Being so far away...

Sometimes, while being so far away from your friends and family, it is nice to listen to soft music that helps you travel back and forth in time. This is really wonderful and absolutely amazing song.

video

1/22/2010

Deep in your heart..

YES! I knew, if deep in my heart, I will believe myself and my competence then everyone else will believe me. I choose my gift and I know how valuable that is!

1/19/2010

vecums nenāk bez atbildības.

Laikam pirmo reizi dzīvē zinu kā ir, kad pāris minūšu laikā iespējams nosirmot. Aiz stresa, aiz bailēm, aiz izbīļa. Ir vismaz par pāris sirmiem matiem vairāk, jebšu, pirmie, tomēr... nekas vēl nav beidzies. jo es vairs neteikšu hops! pirms nekas pa īstam nebūs noticis.
sakrustojam pirkstus, turam īkšķus.
par izdošanos!

1/14/2010

We have power!

"Whether you think you can pr you think you can't, you're right." - Henry Ford

Have we met?

"We're all lonely for something we don't know we're lonely for. How else to explain the curious feeling that goes around feeling like missing somebody we've never even met?" - Hill Harper

1/01/2010

01.01.2010.


New decade is here. New era is here.
I celebrated my New Year's Eve at Time Square, one block away from everything - time counting device, ball drop and Jennifer Lopes ;) ha ha! but seriously, I felt so amazing and after 5 months in USA, I really couldn't believed my eyes - I was in NYC for NY. OMG!!!
So, hopefully, how I have celebrated my New Year's first day, that's how it will be through whole year!! wow, then I'm totally wide open to next 364 days!!!
Happy New Year to everyone and enjoy!
Life is fabulous!
xoxo,
Heidi